I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just found puke in my bra..
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
