Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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