Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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