once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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