areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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