It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
