Sry I called you an 8
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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