end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
