He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize