Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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