return my video game
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
