also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
