This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just cut my nipple shaving
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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