JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
