This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This is the high leading the old right now
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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