He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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