Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
