Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I need moral support for this bender
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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