i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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