I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
