I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
