The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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