Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
