That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
