I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
