oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
