Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
