He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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