my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
