So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
