His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
