I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
