Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
