I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
