Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I could fuck to npr.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize