sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
