Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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