why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My vagina is very pro this idea
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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