i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
