He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
