I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
