Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
