i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
