He kissed a someone with a penis
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
