one might say we're banned from that church
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
