She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
