I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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