She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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