Where is the hickey?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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