Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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