Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
