Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
