she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
