She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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