he told me I talked like a deaf person
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
