the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
