i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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