did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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