Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
