What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
