Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
