omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
