I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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