She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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