We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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